my carr is almost over. no it's over.

i just misspelled my name when i typed the url of this website to check if witold riedel has written anything new recently. but wait, it's me. i have not written anything new recently. that's okay. i should stay away from this glowing rectangular object anyway. i should stay away from all objects that are rectangular and glowing. for a good while. my vacation was supposed to be for that. i failed. i stared at rectangular glowing objects for long stretches of time. sometimes even looked at rectangular glowing objects (okay, screens) that were displayed in a window on another rect... screen. and the weather was very horrible last week. but i managed to buy a new camera. it was made only in the early 70's. mine has a sticker on it that it was cleared for uss midway. someone in the vietnam war probably used this very camera to take some very important picture. i took a picture of a man on the subway, who without having hands pulled out his glasses out of his shirt pocket to then read the paper. no hands. and he seemed in much better shape than i was. with my vietman camera, shooting on expired film that has been in about 4 fridges until i finally loaded it to expose it. i also found some old exposed film. two rolls. one of the rolls had frames from a commercial shoot in los angeles three years ago. and then there was my father and i. we were in giant sequoia park, in california. for his 60th birthday trip. the other roll had some pictures of jack rabbits fighting for territory in cape cod. then there were a few frames of a little fishing boat. i bracketed the shot, so the boat looks like a coy in one of the slides. then there were 24 black slides. i made a page with them. they are the frames i chose not to shoot. because i was too unhappy to even point the camera at anything. maybe because i had to walk up and down some avenue at half speed, not as a meditation though. maybe because i chose to just sit and stare. hey, i have both hands still. i do not need glasses yet. i managed to write a few words in english, which is not my first language. and i also finally managed to spell my name right. and it is just 9:13 on a saturday. the weekender is outside my door. (and so is my screaming little neighbour.) there is a spark of real happiness in me. i will watch it. and then i will see where it goes on tuesday.