why there?

one should clean with very loud music on. or with eyes closed. or with something done to the brain to reduce the sentimental value of the found trash in boxes, under shelves, behind usually closed doors. i only managed to get rid of two piles of magazines tonight. but it took a lot of energy to not revisit the good things inside. how will i ever reduce? i do reuse. i certainly recycle. the reduction part is not quite working yet. i add. i add a lot. i add more than i can actually process. it is as if i packed a whole loaf of bread into my mouth and were surprised why in the world i am not able to swallow. why do i add and add. do i have some sort of illusion that i can take better care of things than, let's say, the library? why do i keep adding books to the books to the books... some about some books i already managed to add? some of the books i managed to get are no longer available to anybody else. same thing with the many stamps that rest, some attached to envelopes, in drawers and books. will i end up giving these away by the yard? maybe to the library after all? maybe that's what is going to happen? hmm... that would be a good thing, i guess. i can reduce more. i can. i know. but why does the reduction start with my brain? why?