My body is now turned into a giant throbbing stomach, far too irritated to have any movement in it, expanding like some intelligently designed universe thing, pumped beyond recognition by the sugar i consumed today. and i did not want to. and then i did. the chocolate on my table is now a crumpled up piece of aluminum foil. the "regular cock" that was given to me (not "died cock") at lunch time also somehow helps the sad story. then there was some of that liquid stuff in the giant coffee. oh and what else? i do not remember now. losing more and more of my concentration these days. soon i am going to wake up to be a pinball. or is it pinball ball? ball in a pin ball? my father is so very fearless. i took him to a rather dark place near the gowanus canal (we had to take care of some business there) and he just said: "I think mother would be a bit afraid to be here." And I thought it was quite brilliant the way he said it. It was quite brilliant. It was the most honor preserving way of saying that the place was not most comfortable in the middle of the night. I will need to remember this one. The road to Dante's View was destroyed by flash floods. I guess we are not going to be able to go there now. I do think though that there will be plenty of other things which will make my parents send their little VW camping bus to california to spend their european size vacation touring a honestly pretty wild west. (It is not so very expensive as one might think, btw. at least definitely cheaper than renting log cabins along the way.) Oh, that was actually not too bad for a stomach writing, now was it? Did I mention the really bad smells in the subway this morning? Perhaps many times before. I do not remember. (What is the opposite of an elephant that never forgets?)