nothing really, but in a good way...

when the sky looked golden in patches over the roofs around here i ran out to make more pictures before the sun rose to change everything. by the time i made it to the street the color was gone and only a cold wind turned my head into a hurting objects on my shoulders. and i walked through the park to grand army plaza and then returned through the historic district streets without forgetting to pick up some groceries and coffee and the paper in not very historic locations. or maybe they all are. maybe everything is. and i thought how silly it was of me to spill myself into descriptions of mystic child like religion. and maybe it is okay. maybe it does not really matter. the main thing that drives me is an insatiable feeling of wonder. and it almost does not seem to matter what rooms i enter. i am at all times aware of me standing at just the outside of the surface of something somehow, sometimes lucky enough to glimpse some sort of distorted reflection, sometimes able to make out some rough shapes of large living things inside. no matter how deep i would manage to go in this lifetime, it would be just a tiny scratch on the surface of things. and that's really very fine. and i am glad that i am where i am right now, this second actually... this is the happiest i remember to be. and it probably does not really matter... hey, the colors are back... i will stay here now. Well, for the next half hour or so... why am i even writing this all down here?... so silly... but maybe okay... : )