let's rise a bit again... perhaps?

So if I missed the sunrise mass this morning, but celebrate the sunrise dozens of times throughout the year... what could this mean? If I go to places of worship very often, but tend to escape if there is a mass... what does that mean?... did I ever write about this one time when I was "locked" in one of the front seats somewhere downtown and there were people, then a pastor, then an entire mass with me just sitting there, my palms pressed against my eyes?... 45 minutes or so of a rather bizarre experience... mainly an audio experience for me... but what did the others think?... They must have assumed that I was a real "case"... I looked at them afterwards, as they were having good conversations outside of the church... I was "invisible" to them... and maybe it is a good thing... well, they probably used it as a way of protecting themselves from me... the strange man in their midst... and I went away... i actually went away... it was a very odd day... I wanted to be very invisible on this particular day... there were many messages on my answering machine that day... many... progressively angrier messages... I remember picking them up from locations farther and farther away from home... (or is it further?) is there such a thing?... so what about the sunrise?... can I just celebrate it without some of the layers that make me feel trapped?... The sunrise is one of the most beautiful places... can you hear the birds?... I mean... close the eyes... can you see the transformation of everything... and can you hear the birds?... i think there is a sunrise hidden in each and everyone of us... isn't there?