runrunrun not even sure when i sat by the window last, the songs of the birds outside sound somewhat unfamiliar. the world is turning a bit blurry these days, and there is still so much that needs to be done. and i am doing things and more and more of that. and in the evenings, when i return home to the empty and yet slightly chaotic rooms, i can barely think straight and usually just fall onto the blankets just so i can wake up the next morning to keep going to keep going. somehow this is not the package i had ordered, but this is the package i picked up once i entered the store. and until i am done with all the cookies, i will need to keep at it. though i would much rather be behind an unpainted door, watching the sunrise, again and again and again. until i manage to be whole again. tried to solve a puzzle on the train yesterday just to notice that i had completely missed the entire right hand side of the puzzle. i would usually diagnose this as a post mini stroke condition. at this point however, i am missing the words to describe anything properly, i guess. here i am, my loose ends shaping into a carpet and i am late for yet another day. have to run. (oh and have to start running too.)