The radio in the cab advertised some language course, loudly, frantically.
It might have been “Spanish in 30 days”, “no effort at all”. “Just lean back and you will be able to speak it, guaranteed, or money back”… I don’t know…
“Eat a pill and you will never get sick”, “stop eating carbs and you will never get fat”, “use a fancy camera and you will be taking great pictures”, “relax”, “enjoy”, “win a million dollars”, capture … (enter the name of your favorite villain here)… and then what?…
I can not keep up. Not tonight…
Drawing is not always easy, it is not always relaxing, it is not that cool thing to do, it can require a very specific kind of focus, as not seen on tv. There are no guarantees.
It is one thing to follow the path that the pen wants to take, or to use the nib to grab and translate the known…
but in the end… in the end it is about walking against the current, barefoot, until the feet hurt, until there is blood coming from that thumb, or leg, or lip.
And one either does it a lot and seriously, or in little bursts… but then the periods of leaning back push one out away from the bubbling, child like, laughing source…
There is no happy lucky formula for a good piece…
and it is not the book, it is not the pen, it is not the city… i have no idea what it is… but I can not be ecstatic about it tonight, and I work really hard to make things look easy… and it is not easy to do… not tonight…
but it is really worth it, and it is one of my favorite things in the world…
and it is actually after 2, the following day… and there will be not enough sleep… yet again…

slow, so low, solo w, s low… ow…. (another older one that did not make it…)