it has been very difficult for me in the last few weeks really to create any refined expression or experience a finer perception. what used to be an expansive palette of emotions and observations, more than i could ever write down, for sure, has been replaced by a yes/no switchboard, a rough and faulty circuit board with one lightbulb which appears to be in either an "on" or an "off" state. (Though it seems to like the "off".)
Believe me, I am trying to break out of this very unpleasant state which might have someht9ing to do with the amount of work I have to juggle these days...
I just listened to the ticking of my watch, tried to force myself to realize that no two ticks of any instrument are the same, that there is actually a physical distance between each tick of my watch, as we are all spinning, not only around the axis of the planet but around the sun, and with the sun even... faster than bullets, really in constant motion, constant change...
Just a few seconds after this glimmer of a thought came to my mind, the alarm of the watch went off, very loudly, of course, even louder into my ear, somehow reminding me of my recently very rough and simplistic perception of things...
I really hope to get back on track very soon.
It is my profession to observe and to create subtleties... I currently feel slightly powerless...
This might also be one of the reasons why I have not replied to your email, btw... (if you wrote one...) I might have replied actually, but then decided against sending barely anything more than a "yes" or "no"...
One of the challenges of having sites such as these, I find, is balancing expression and obligation. I find myself apologizing to my readers (and to some extent, to myself) for not updating for long periods of time.
The real world calls. I answer, however reluctantly. And sometimes, even when the real world isn't calling, it's nice just to be away from the keyboard for a while, you know?
Posted by: resonance on October 7, 2003 12:47 AM"The real world calls. I answer, however reluctantly. And sometimes, even when the real world isn't calling, it's nice just to be away from the keyboard for a while, you know?"
but sometimes the keyboard (or the pen) is the vacation from the real world.
Posted by: alexandra on October 7, 2003 08:51 PMMy experience is that work, not all work, but certain types of work, tends makes us perceive we're off track even if we're not.
Posted by: Laura on October 8, 2003 12:16 PM