Hello, and farewell to moviephone.

It used to be all very easy and a good idea. One would just “dial” 777-FILM from anywhere in New York, and a very unique male voice would say *HE*llo and *WELL*come to *MO*vie phone... Then, after a short commercial break, which apparently paid for the whole fun, an automated system, featuring the *fun*ny *VOI*ce would allow to find the *MOV*ie you would *LI*ke to see, the theater where is plays and then find out the times still available. One more push onto the phone touch-pad then reserved the ticket, a few beeps and whistles more bought the ticket for a Dollar more. Pretty nice. At the theater one would just walk up to a little machine, put in the credit card and the tickets were printed. A really nice idea. The service eventually was bought by AOL and renamed to AOL-moviephone. The website was made pretty nifty too, and I remember ordering the first tickets online and beating the phone system in speed and convenience. There was no man with a voice, but the tickets were still waiting, things that used to be easy were turning easier. Until now.
We wanted to see Men in Black II at a Loews theater in Kips Bay. It was very easy to find the page with the movie, the page with the theater, even the times. The only thing missing was the [buy it now] button. Hmm. At first I thought it was me. I clicked on a few links on the site, tried to find the place where AOL might have hidden this little gif-graphic that would pay for the existence of the site I was surfing. No luck. So I dialed 777-film, in the hope to order the tickets the “old-fashioned” way. *HELL*o and *Well*-come to *A*ol *Movie*-phone... *Ent*-ter the name of the *MO*vie you want to see... *you* have *selected* *MEN*... And so on... The system ended up giving me the location of the movie theater I already knew, with the still available show-times. No option for ticket purchase. At this point there are friends from Germany waiting for my call back. We are supposed to pick them up at the hotel, AOL just helped me to get sly frustrated... (I do not really get angry, you know...)... I understand that AOL liked the idea of buying tickets over the phone, and then brought it further by bringing the service online, but please don’t tell me they would then drop the ball and just remove the most important part of the deal. I decided to call the theater directly. I found a general number for Loews theaters, called the number and who picks up? *HELL*o and *Well*-come to *A*ol *Movie*-phone... *Ent*-ter the name of the *MO*vie you want to see...
At this point I felt betrayed, was ready to sell all of my AOL stock. (Except that I would lose too much money in such a transaction to make if fun.) I thought of Chris, who would at this point just slam the phone against the furthest wall. What was going on here?
Good thing I had thought of Chris in the moment of my frustration. I remembered this tiny company that had been founded by one of the early Google guys... (as far as I remember.) a system like 777-FILM, except with other funny voices and full fletched voice recognition technology. TELL ME... Please HELP ME, TELL ME...
I dialed 1-800-555-TELL... And was greeted by a happy *TELL ME* I did not care what the commercial at the beginning of the call would be... I just screamed into the phone...
Witold: "MOVIES!"
Tell me: you selected movies, what is the name of the movie you would like to see?
(this guy was clearly trying to sound like the man from 777-film without getting in trouble with the law...)
Witold: "Men in Black two"
Tell me: "sure, one moment please, you want to see Men in Black in New York, New York?"
Witold:"yes..."
Tell me: "the closest theater to you seems to be..." (this is how I remember it, do not quote me...)
After several "next" calls from me, I was eventually able to just order my tickets"
Tell me: "how many tickets do you need?"
Witold: "Four Tickets"
Tell me:" 46 tickets, sure."
Witold: "no, four tickets, not 46." (I like messing with voice recognition systems"
Tell me: "Oh, four tickets, OK"...
We got the tickets, the rest of the experience was the same as in the “old days”. At the theater a little machine just printed the tickets. No waiting online, no problems, enough seats in a sold out theater. The movie was not quite what I had expected. But that’s a different story. Thank you, TELL ME...